Maintaining Friendships as an Introvert

I used to refer to myself as an ambivert, but as I’ve gotten older, my introverted side has developed more and more. I love spending time to myself, I enjoy quiet, more intimate spaces, I’m quiet reserved upon meeting someone, and I can *survive* not being the center of attention. Unfortunately, all of that has presented difficulties within my friendships. The expectations of “friendship” sometimes clash with introversion, but it doesn’t have to at all. Here are 4 tips for friendships for introverts.

be upfront

I’ve had a few frustrating moments when friends thought I was upset with them or avoiding them when, in actuality, I just needed some alone time. While you don’t owe any of your friends an explanation for how you spend your time, letting them know that, as an introvert, you need to recharge in solitude can go a long way. I’m sure you’ll also find it very helpful to let your friends know when certain plans don’t fit your idea of a good time. If you hate the vibe of a club or houseparty, let your friends know! The purpose is not to have things your way. Rather, it is to explain why you might say ‘no’ fairly often.

make an effort to see friends

When I’m really in my introverted zone, I often don’t realize how long I’ve gone without seeing my friends. Sometimes, that’s okay because I just need to practice some self-care, but other times, I really need some human interaction. Take note when it’s been a while since you’ve seen your friends, and reach out, even if it’s just a text letting them know you’re alive. Don’t forget that friendships are two way streets that carry responsibilities for everyone. Your friends deserve at least minimal attention from you.

suggest your own hang out ideas

If you find yourself constantly at odds with your friends ideas for fun, suggest your own ideas. You don’t have to do things you don’t enjoy, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for expecting your friends to do something you like (at least) every once and a while. If you would rather watch a marathon of your favorite show instead of going out to party, let them know.  Friendships are about compromise. If you need more ideas for things to do instead of partying, check out this post.

protect your “me” time

Even though you should make an effort to spend time with the people you care about, you still need to honor your introverted self. If you need to be alone for a bit after class or spend a weekend by yourself, that is perfectly okay. Life is about balance, and part of self-care is keeping yourself balanced. Have fun with your friends, invite them to do things you like, and stick to yourself when you need.

in other words…

There is no reason why introversion should hinder your friendships and other relationships. Remember to practice self-care by putting your needs forward and sticking to that. If your friends give you a hard time, then maybe they aren’t the friends for you anyway. 🤷🏾‍♀️ If you liked this post, share it via social media, or use the Pinterest image below.

Talk soon,

Maya

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2 Comments

  1. March 24, 2018 / 1:23 pm

    I so needed this post right now! I was just thinking about how I’ve had such difficulty with friendships because I’m so comfortable being alone that I forget to maintain regular contact–which makes it easy for people to drift away. When I finally do need that interaction, I don’t even know where to start because I feel like everyone has gone and found a better friend haha! Friendship is really a two way street and I have to remember that even as an introvert I can still make time for those that matter to me and put in the extra effort without sacrificing what makes me happy. Thank you for this post!

    • Maya Fleming
      March 24, 2018 / 1:45 pm

      I’m so glad it spoke to you! I totally understand that struggle, and I’m still working on myself to make room for others in my life. Thanks for reading!

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